TechNoSavy

Hunter leaned in between the two choads sitting at the bar and signaled his buddy, Bartender Ian, for another round. The choad to his left winced visibly and blew his cigarette smoke in Hunter’s general direction. Hunter rolled his eyes thinking: what a stupid fuckhead, when the drinks arrived. Left choad gave Hunter’s elbow a bump as he was backing up with the three pints in his hands, causing a minor spillage.

“Come on! If you can’t hold your pints get the fuck out of here!” Left Choad growled, feeling suddenly tough now that Hunter’s hands were full.

Hunter thought of dumping the drinks on him, but that would be a waste, instead he just let go a string of expletives at him, the crackling of the smokeater punctuating his every word.

“Look you filthy, cocksucking turd, just because its your fucking time of the month is no reason to be a total prick! So either shut your noise tube, or I’ll shut it for you!”

Left Choad just stared for a second, unable to speak. Right Choad, who was clearly a friend of Left Choads, but was talking on his brick-like StarTac(TM) mobile phone, suddenly started to take an interest.

Hunter turned and put the pints down on the counter beside the booth where he and his droogs, Bill Williams, and Fred Sharpe were stuck in for the night.

Bartender Ian called out from behind the bar: “Everything okay Hunter?”

“I dunno,” said Hunter, turning to Left Choad, “is there?”

Left Choad looked around and shook his head.

“Didn’t think so.” Said Hunter, returning to the drinks at hand.

He sat down at the table and continued on with the conversation the he and his droogan brothers were having before they ran out of beer.

“So, they’re called DVD’s and – “

Bill cut in, “Dee Vee Deez? Any relation to Rick Dees?”

“One might think so, but no. Yeah, so Digital Versatile Discs is what the acronym stands for. They’re like the size of CD’s but you can fit a whole movie on them without flipping it over.”

Fred took a sip of his draught and shook his head, “Won’t last. Can’t record on them. It’ll be just another fad, like your LaserDiscs.”

Hunter swallowed some ale, “How can you say LaserDiscs are a fad? They’ve been on the market for over ten years! They’re HUGELY popular! Video and Sound’s whole store is basically Laser movies with the few crappy VHS tapes they have left shoved in the back of the store! And that’s just one place in town!”

“Who here even has a LaserDisc player besides you anyway?” Bill wanted to know, taking a drag off his DuMaurier King Size.

Hunter didn’t need to take a second before answering, “MacGreggor of course.”

Fred stubbornly shook his head as he put out his Player’s Light, “Nope. MacGreggor isn’t here with us tonight. He doesn’t count!”

“Oh… “

“Nope!”

“…come…”

“Nope!”

“…on!”

“Nope!”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“Nope! Go back to Gutamala, Tech Monkey!” Fred continued.

“Alright enough, the both of you!” Bill grumbled.

Hunter took a long draught of ale and stared at Fred, “And it’s Technogeek okay? Get it right.”

There really was no time for arguing, as there was some serious drinking to be done...