Honorable Mentions

Honorable Mentions of the Last Decade errr, stuff what didn’t make the like/hate list…

Mike Richards: The funniest fuck in Canadian Radio. Mornings on the Fan960.

Crackdown: The first game in a long time I actually wanted to finish!

Buying a House: Something I never thought I would ever be able to do. Sure no cunt can raise your rent or boot your ass out on an overlooked loophole, but it sucks every fucking penny out of my bank account every two weeks.

The Rise of HDTV: Watching standard def fare now just does not cut it anymore. High-Definition is “da-bomb” as the kids say. It’s too bad we get raped by the cable corporations in Canada with mediocre service, less than half the HD channels offered by US cable companies, and ridonkulously high monthly bills to boot!

The Saga Concludes: with the release of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (or, as Julian would say: Revenge of the Two Guys) the Star Wars Saga ended not with a bang, but with a whimper. While the flick was better than the first two prequels in almost every way, it was nowhere near as good as Episodes IV-VI.

G4: My favourite digital cable channel makes it to Canada bringing with it the greatest Newsfotainment (My word. Your welcome.) show of the twenty-first century: Attack of the Show! TV’s only source for all the stuff you care about.

20 Years @ the ‘Corn: December of 2009 marked the twentieth year I’ve been hanging out to drink, write, and be merry at Calgary’s Original Pub, The Unicorn.

Iron Man: Jon Favreau shows that it is possible to make a comic book flick that doesn’t completely suck grilled donkey balls.

Jean Chretien: What can you say about this guy, the most crafty, arrogant, and possibly evil Prime Minister since Trudeau is STILL shooting his mouth off for attention. This time berating Prime Minister Harper for NOT sucking up and kissing the ass of left wing, totalitarian communist China! I suppose I could list all the human rights violations and crimes the Communist Chinese Government has perpetrated against it’s people over the last fifty years, but we don’t have all day here. Look Jean, you are no longer der Furer of Canada so how about you shut the fuck up because no one wants to hear your leftist clap-trap anymore.

The Left-Wing Media: It’s funny, but I’m old enough to remember when the media - wait for it – reported on the news with objectivity! Now all we have, on every channel it seems, is left-wing, socialist editorializing instead of actual news. Oh well.


Ten Years: Part Deux

10 Things I Hated About the Last Decade (again, in no particular order)

One million people, all with cars, all in front of me driving like fucking idiots.

The Calgary Flames not winning the ’04 Stanley Cup.

I didn’t manage to become rich and famous, to spite trying real hard.

Realizing I need my friends more than they need me.

Ernest Cline and Dan Pulick for ripping off my screenplay for “Cup Crazy” and making it into “Fanboys.” Bastards.

Where the fuck are my flying cars? It’s the 21st century ferchissakes! And what about a base on the moon, or mars? For that matter, where the hell are the aliens?

Peter Jackson winning the Oscar for Return of the King. Really Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences? Really? You give a guy the Oscar for the third, and weakest film in a trilogy? If your just giving these things away like candy at Halloween, why not just give one to George Lucas for Revenge of the Sith?

Al Gore for claiming to love the environment while at the same time flying around the world with an entourage of a hundred people in private jets. That’s right Al, I should give up my car, but you go right ahead and keep burning millions of gallons of environmentally unfriendly jet fuel every month.

The rise radical Islam, and the erosion of western values through the Liberal and Socialist policies of political correctness in North America and Great Britain.

Barack Hussein Obama bringing extreme left wing Socialism, high taxes, and big government to what was once the Greatest Country in the World.


Ten Years! Ten!

10 Things I Liked About the Last Decade (in no particular order)

Energy drinks becoming the new socially acceptable alternative to crack.

We are now officially ten years closer to the Zombie Apocalypse.

Watching the Calgary Flames in the ’04 Stanley Cup run.

Smoking Cuban cigars, and drinking rum on the back deck.

The sheer variety of delicious USAmerican microbrewery beers made available here in CanadaAmerica… mmmmm Anchor Steam...

Jason Statham becoming THE premiere Action Hero of the 21st Century.

David Letterman and Tiger Woods proving that no matter how rich or married you are it’s still okay to be all about the hootchies.

Tegan + Sara, and Metric getting me interested in music again. Nice of them, don’t you think?

The increase in the Parent/Child “buffer-zone.” George Costanza understands the stress this relieves! LOL

Io Taraji. D’ya loik dags? I loik dags!

Reviews From The Chesterfield

Ghost in the Shell Directed by Rupert Sanders Based on the manga by Shirow Masamune In the near future, the cyberneticly enhan...