Flick Review

A quick explanation of the new Flick Rating System. Now while it is still a numbered system, it has been decided that for clarification, the definition of the numbers be explained to the reader.

6 out of 5.
Sell your first born to see this. The most important piece of twenty-first century cinema you are ever likely to encounter.

5 out of 5. Freaking Amazing. Everything I expected from the flick and just that much more.

4 out of 5. A pretty damn fine flick. Could have been better of course, but not by much.

3 out of 5. It’s, as the kids say, ah-ight. If you enjoy the genre, see it, if not you are missing nothing.

2 out of 5. Meh. The only reason it gets two is because there were boobies.

1 out of 5. RUN AWAY! Complete waste of time you will never get back, and not even a single naked breast to be found.

And now, on with the review!

Kung Fu Panda

Directed by John Stevenson and Mark Osborne

I missed this one when it came to theatres and after finally seeing the flick, I have to say I wish I had taken the time. Jack Black plays the voice of Po, a lowly, noodle slurping, fat (FAT!) panda who dreams of better things. Po worships the Furious Five, a group of the most powerful martial artists in all of China. He plays with their action figures, and dreams of the day that he will stand beside them as a hero. When the day comes that one of the Five is to be awarded the title of “The Dragon Warrior," a recognition given to the most powerful of all Kung Fu Masters, Po heads to the Jade Temple, but arrives too late. Or does he?

The animation is this flick is so good; you will not even be able to describe how good it is. You’ll just be sitting there, watching this with your eyes like saucers trying not to miss a single nano-second of the incredible detail, and awesomeness that appears before you on your screen. Every shot is amazing, from the insane detail of the backgrounds, to the fur and clothes of the characters, this flick is pure eye candy at it’s best. And the story is not bad either! Who would have thought!

Kung Fu Panda kicks its way on to Blu-ray with a flawless, reference quality 2.35:1 framed 1080p transfer in which every frame features a gorgeous sense of depth and an abundance of beautifully rendered colour. It freaking pops as only a digital film can when care and cash are put up for the finest of high-definition transfers. The slick, balanced Dolby True HD 5.1 surround audio is a treat to the ears with the sound flowing naturally and evenly across the front speakers, and the perfectly rendered dialogue remaining firmly in the centre channel where it belongs. All in all, both picture and sound quality are reference material for folks wanting to show off their home theatre systems.

Kung Fu Panda comes with a decent amount of bonus materials including the Blu-ray exclusive Animator’s Corner, Trivia Track, and BD-Live Fun Features. Other “Secret Ingredients” include Dragon Warrior Training Academy, Help Save The Wild Pandas, and much more, the majority of it in HD.

For being an excellent flick with reference quality picture and sound, and giving me a good heaping helping of extras, Kung Fu Panda gets a 5 out of 5.


We're Baaaacckk....

Where is it? Where has the last year gone?

January 2K9, the start of a new freaking year and we here at the newly re-opened offices of ChilledMonkeyBrainz, broadcasting to you from the Pickled Pirate Pub are all full of pish and vinegar.

After a tumultuous Festivus and a little “creative” accounting, we here at CMBZ are happy to say that the insanity WILL continue into 2K9. You can’t get rid of us that easily.

Now for the sad news: Reiko Murakami has decided to leave us as Head Researcher in order to pursue a job that actually pays her! Imagine that! Good Luck Rei! We will miss you! Especially the giggling.

Anyway, stay tuned to the New and Improved CMBZ for more flick, game, and book reviews, short stories, and all the insanity you can shake a stick at coming up in the New Year.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger… or is it stranger… I always forget.


The Jaeger


P.S. What is the DEAL with Santa? He SEES you when you are sleeping. He KNOWS when you are awake. Sounds like some kind of psycho stalker to me…

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