Indian Summer??

So seeing how the last few days have brought us chilly weather more appropriate to the season, I feel I must think back to last Wednesday, the 23rd of September. On that day here in the Town of Cows, it got up to 93F (that’s 34C for all you metricentrics out there) which was apparently a new temperature record for that date in history… or at least since 1998 or something.

Everybody at the office, from the code monkeys hanging around the lunch room, to the choads in the lab were blathering on about the “Indian Summer” (or for the Politically Correct out there “Native American Indigenous Persons Summer”) which got me wondering; what exactly is an “Indian Summer” anyway?

I heard the term tossed around in my youth and had always been under the impression that it was something that that happened when the region experienced a full summer, followed by a few days, weeks, or maybe even a month of uncharacteristically warm early autumn weather.

I had to know the truth so I whipped it out. That’s right, I pulled out the old Webster’s Dictionary and found out that Indian Summer is described as 1. a period of warm or mild weather in late autumn or early winter.

Not only were the code monkeys, and the lab choads wrong but (gasp!) I was too!

There’s a first time for everything I suppose…


Blame France, Not Britain

So on the news the other day I heard a story about a tiny group of whiny Pure Laine Quebecois who managed through bitching and moaning to cause the cancellation of a yearly historical re-creation of the Battle on the Plains of Abraham. For those of you who don’t know what this is here is a brief history lesson.

The Plains of Abraham was the location of many battles between the Imperial French and British Empires, where in 1759 the British Army defeated the cheese-eating surrender monkeys of the French Imperial forces. Without British victory in this battle, North America would be very different than it is today.

This year however, the event was cancelled due to interference from the mostly racist
Pure Laine members of the separatist Parti Québécois and Bloc Québécois who for purely political reasons began criticizing the event as a slap in the face for Quebecois. They couldn't’t be more wrong in their posturing.

The defeat of the French Imperial Army in 1759 was the BEST thing to happen to Quebec because it set in motion the domination of the French-Canadian minority over the English majority for the next 250 years and beyond. So for this, French Canada should be forever grateful.

Why? Well because IF the French had beaten the Brits back in 1759, then Quebec would still be part of France in 1803, when Thomas Jefferson made a little deal with Napoleon called The Louisiana Purchase. If Quebec had been part of that deal then the territory would eventually become one of 50, or 51, or however many states.

What would this mean for Quebec? Well,
USAmerica is a melting pot, meaning the French Québécois would be speaking USAmerican ENGLISH. Quebec would NOT under any circumstances be allowed to hold the United States hostage with the threat of separation because the separatist Parti Québécois and Bloc Québécois would not exist there because there is no absurd Government mandated “tax payer cash allotment” for third, fourth, and fifth rate political parties like there is in Canada. No, all Quebec would be if the French had won that battle would be a backwater state no different than Maine, North Dakota, or Rhode Island, and they most certainly would have no language police to oppress the Anglos, nor would they be ever be declared their own “nation.”

What would this mean for Canada? Canada would be much stronger financially as a nation without Quebec. Even if official bi-bilingualism was gone the money saved would be enough to make every tax-payer in Canada a millionaire. Imagine no bi-lingual packaging, no tax-sucking French TV and radio, no separatist political parties using tax-payers money to break up the country! Imagine the English speaking majority not having to suck up and kiss the butt of the spoiled child of confederation for the last two hundred or so years! But most importantly, imagine no French on the spines of your dvd and blu-ray cases! ;)

No, the reenactment of the Battle of the Plains of Abraham is NOT a slap in the face for Quebecois, because if they understood their own history they would know it is what made Quebec the most powerful nation in Canada today, and they should not forget that.

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