2005-05-19

Flick Review

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Directed by George Lucas

Saw the flick twice already, once at the private advanced screening at 19:00, and again at 00:05 and I must say I was impressed. After annoying us with fart and poopy jokes in Phantom Menace, not to mention the abomination that is Jar Jar Binks, and only doing slightly better with Attack of the Clones, George Lucas has finally given us what we wanted: a Star Wars Movie worthy of the name.

Star Wars geeks throughout the globe rejoice! This is the flick you've been waiting for!

Hayden Christiansen actually has to do some A-C-T-I-N-G in this flick, and apart from a few moments he does all right, head and shoulders above his performance in Clones to be honest. And Ian McdDirmand finally gets a chance to show off his abilities as a classically trained actor and has the biggest part he's had in any of the Star Wars films. His performance blows everyone else's out of the water. Ewan MacGreggor has got his Obi-wan down pat in this, his strongest performance in the Prequels. The weakest performance, surprisingly enough comes from Natalie Portman who basically mails it in for this one, but no matter, it's not like we'll be seeing her again in the new TV series in 2007 since they kill her off at the end.

Arms, hands, legs, and heads fly off at a number greater than any other Star Wars flick as Jedi, Sith, and clones go at it with incredible abandon that makes one wish there had been more of this in the first two movies, but what ever, the circle, as they say is now complete.

Go see it again and again and don't listen to McBain when he tells you it's crap.

Oh yeah, and I think I heard on the news that the US mint is putting George's face on the million dollar bill...

5 comments:

Lupin The Great said...

Poopyness. Pure poopyness. Where were the cylons for christ sake? Aren't there supposed to by cylons in this?

Lupin The Great said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lupin The Great said...

Went to see Madagascar the other night. (Free!! Thanks to a Pixar friend) and it made me realize how much I dislike the "theater experience". Luckily, since it was a closed event I didn't have to put up with the majority of what pisses me off. Still, here's a list, just because its 1:50 pm, I'm at work and full of curry and to lazy to get back to the grindstone.

1 - The obvious price just to get in. $12 a person to see a movie, that most of the time ends up being pretty terrible. Go with a wife/girlfriend and your looking at $24 or more.

2 - The only decent theater in San Francisco, isn't even in San Fran. It's in Daly City, and every teenager in the entire Bay Area is there. Like, OH MY GAWD!

3 - There's a new trend in town, under the guise of "keeping you safe", they have started searching purses and bags. If they find any contraband (sodas, candy, water etc) they take it, if you don't like it to bad, you can't go into the theater with it and they won't refund your ticket.

4 - The concession prices.. of course. $4 for a fucking bottle of water?! Great zombie Jesus!! You can go to Safeway and by 24 of them for $5! Let me say that again, for a measly dollar more, in the "real world" you could get 24 of them! $5 for .25 cents worth of popcorn kernels? $4 for a tub o' coke? Who cares if you get a free refill, who in their right mind could possibly drink an entire vat of coke and go back for a refill? You would spend half the movie in the bathroom taking a piss.

5 - Advertising. I paid $24 to see a movie. Not to go see 20 minutes of fucking commercials. If I have to sit through a companies commercial at the movies, there is no way I would ever, ever buy it.

6 - Assholes on cell phones. Who do these people think they are? You talk on your phone, I'm allowed to kick the back of your head with my foot. Motorcycle boots hurt.

7 - Merkats. You know the type. They tend to sit in the middle of the theater, and then proceed to get up and down and in and out of the theater a dozen times during the movie. Bladders the size of a peanut.

8 - The seat kickers. Usually they're also the children. Unable to stop talking during the movie or kicking the back of your seat. If your kids can't sit still for 2 hours, take them to the damn park instead.

9 - Parents who bring babies to the theater. WTF?! If you can't afford a sitter then you don't go to the movie! They have a lot of gall thinking I want to listen to a crying baby during a R movie! I saw 28 days Later to the accompaniment of a crying baby. Just because your baby making ass wants to see a movie doesn't mean you get to. Go to Blockbuster instead.

10 - Portable Concession Spiel. They've started wheeling the concession stand right into the theater. The operator of the stand then yells loud enough for everyone in the theater to hear him tell a few bad jokes. Usually the motto is "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Wow. Deep. This goes on for about 10 agonizing minutes before he finally pleads for you to buy some of his insanely overpriced crap. Sitting through it is like sitting through Doctor Phil. I'd rather tear my sphincter out with a claw hammer.

Actually, I could go on but 10 reasons is enough. I don't want to sound bitter.

The fuckers.

Jaeger said...

I think lupin the great should have his own blog! I just about pished myself laughing at his funny-cause-they're-true top ten theatre annoyances!

jackinabox2 said...

George Lucas almost owed me $10. This is possibly the worst of the three prequels. I've been blow away by the apparently semi-positive reviews in the press, but perhaps its simply relief given they won't review another Star Wars film ever. What else can explain it?

After all, Lucas has now demonstrated again and again, how he has no concept of story, plotting, and character. Throw in not one single uber cool moment (ala Darth Maul's entrance in Phantom Menance) or kick ass action sequence (Maul vs Liam Neeson and Obi Wan) and your left with nothing.

I'm also plenty tired of Lucas and his handjobs to the fans. In Revenge of the Sith it was Chewbacca. Another pointless cameo, simply to get a rise out of the fanboys, and not offering anything in terms of insight into the current movie nor the future stories. Why wasn't there a shot of young Lando playing Solitaire on Coruscant?

But thats really a non-issue, given the absolutely spectacular fuckup Lucas does with Anakin Skywalker and Padme.

How exactly does the young Jedi slide from the Mace Windu incident to slaughtering the Younglings? George doesn't offer any insight, cause there isn't any. Either Anakin was a complete sociopath from day 1 (a possibility given Jake Lloyd's performance) or his character just leaps from side to another. No transition. No growth. He's just evil. Gray doesn't apparently exist in George's world. Or its too difficult to write and film. I've seen toddlers demonstrate more understanding of the human condition that this guy.

Padme characterization is even worse. Apart from staring blanking out a window for two thirds of the movie, when she suddenly gets an acting moment its just as nonsensical as the Anakin character.

Instead of revulsion, anger, fear, etc... after learning her hubby slaughtered a bunch of children, she wants to give him a hug and rub his back. What the hell? When did the former Queen of Naboo lose her spine?

More later...

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