Things I Just Don't Understand

Part 1: Rap and Rappers

I had a conversation with a bud a while ago and the subject of music came up. My friend was just fucking jacked about a new record (that's "CD" for all you younglings) by a rapper by the name of 50 cent, or "fiddycent" as my bud pronounced it.

He went on and on about how the music was so cool, and fresh and nothing like the rap "you've heard before" so I checked out some videos on Much when they had a "special" all about "fiddycent" one Sunday afternoon.

I guess I just don't get it. The "music" was the same "bitches, ho's and bling" bullshit that seems to be popular with every rapper out there today.

I understand that most of the rappers were at one point in their lives poor, but are now stinking filthy rich, but why do they have to shove it in everyone's face?

Is that what it means when they say "we be keepin it real yo?"

Does keeping it real mean you drive a solid gold Hummer Limo with Diamond encrusted rims?

Does keeping it real mean paying dozens of ultra-hot hootchies to dance mostly naked beside your marble Olympic-sized swimming pool while you sit back smoking a Cuban?

Does keeping it real mean wearing so much solid gold diamond studded jewery that you can't even hold your head up?

Does keeping it real mean going on MTV's Cribs and showing off the solid gold refrigerator filled with Cristal in a kitchen that's bigger than most people's whole apartment?

I guess it does.

And that is something I just don't understand